Being a father is really the ultimate test of patience. A father of a two-and-a-half year old hyper girl, a lot more. Don't get me wrong, she's an angel. She's sweet, strong, intelligent, loves to laugh, always fun and jolly. She likes to get our attention and she talks a lot. She easily picks up on things an average kid would even have an inkling about. She's really special, that one.
But when she goes into a tantrum, I have to work hard not to explode. I know it's wrong, but I get angry. I don't know if I'm angry at her being so unreasonable, but I think I'm more angry at myself for not understanding. She won't stop until she gets what she wants, that at times I don't even know what she wanted. She'll just do what she wants. I tend to shout, I think because I'm frustrated. But then she gets scared of me, and she will ask for her mom. It breaks my heart that my daughter gets frightened of me. I really have to control myself, to stop myself from being a monster. I don't hit her. By God, I would die before I hurt my kid. But emotionally, I may be doing so. Hopefully she doesn't carry it growing up. I immediately apologize to her for shouting and asks her forgiveness, that Daddy loves her. Then I talk to her calmly, why I got mad, ask her what she wants, try to give her what she wants. It's music to my ears when she says "Love you so much.," and "Miss you." I crumble when she says, "Daddy, sorry." I always reply, "It's okay. Sorry din po si Daddy." Then we'd be okay, like nothing happened. But she still remembers, because sometimes she says, "Wag na galit Daddy, ha?" Shame on me.
But when she goes into a tantrum, I have to work hard not to explode. I know it's wrong, but I get angry. I don't know if I'm angry at her being so unreasonable, but I think I'm more angry at myself for not understanding. She won't stop until she gets what she wants, that at times I don't even know what she wanted. She'll just do what she wants. I tend to shout, I think because I'm frustrated. But then she gets scared of me, and she will ask for her mom. It breaks my heart that my daughter gets frightened of me. I really have to control myself, to stop myself from being a monster. I don't hit her. By God, I would die before I hurt my kid. But emotionally, I may be doing so. Hopefully she doesn't carry it growing up. I immediately apologize to her for shouting and asks her forgiveness, that Daddy loves her. Then I talk to her calmly, why I got mad, ask her what she wants, try to give her what she wants. It's music to my ears when she says "Love you so much.," and "Miss you." I crumble when she says, "Daddy, sorry." I always reply, "It's okay. Sorry din po si Daddy." Then we'd be okay, like nothing happened. But she still remembers, because sometimes she says, "Wag na galit Daddy, ha?" Shame on me.
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